Car-Related Nonsense

I was going to write a blog post about “How to sell your car”, but I thought, forget it. You people can figure it our your damn selves, the same way I had to. The last thing I need is people thinking I know what I’m talking about. (Oh fine. Here’s the link for Texas. People in states that are not spontaneously combusting can fend for themselves). When I sold my Honda CR-V, I had to remove all the stickers and other bits that gave it personality. One of those was my adorable little Darwin Fish.

You can see all the silver has worn off the lettering. What does it need? GLITTER. I like where this is headed.

Two coats of red glitter nail polish, and Darwin is blinged-out! Ready for my next car, whatever that may be.

If you find yourself having to remove stickers from your car, the easiest way I’ve found is to buy one of these little razor blades:

It’s basically a small plastic handle that a normal razor blade fits into. They cost about a dollar at Home Depot or Wal-Mart. This makes it much easier to get between the sticker and the glass, and also makes it more likely you’ll get the whole thing off. You can also open it up, and flip the razor blade around so that the sharp part is covered up while you aren’t using it. It’s a pretty clever little gadget. You can see I tested it thoroughly:

This is just one more random photo. This was my antenna ball, until we realized that her cowboy hat was catching the wind while I drove, causing her to whack the roof constantly. It made a very worrying knocking sound, so I took her off and kept her on the dash. A well-meaning car cleaner guy, who was removing a half gallon of spilled milk from my floor boards (don’t ask), armor-alled the dash board, thus giving my antenna ball her five o’clock shadow. My sister, Beans, (all of my ridiculous stories start with “My sister, Beans…”) got in my car at one point and wanted to know why the hell I have a drag queen/king antenna ball sliding back and forth across the dash as I drive. I told her the whole story, and we dubbed her Pearl, the tough, female, truck driver. We started doing a “Pearl Voice” that sounds similar to Sling Blade, but slightly less effeminate. Anything with my sister evolves into these long, drawn-out, inexplicable scenarios. We entertained each other for an entire afternoon doing impressions of Pearl. When I sold the Honda, I kept Pearl, and she will, hopefully, be a perpetual passenger in my next vehicle.

Now that my Explorer (briefly named Carthulhu), has ALSO bitten the dust, I am about fed up with cars. But I saw this on the road the other day, and it makes me feel slightly better about my problems:

I maybe going through issues, but at least I can still enjoy laughing at realize there are people less fortunate than I am.

September 15, 2011. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , . Arts and Crafts. 7 comments.