Clicking here will LITERALLY change your life

This post won’t actually change your life. This is a rant about “click bait”. Click bait is something you may have noticed. Articles with titles like “You will laugh so hard, your eyeballs will melt”, or “Watch this amazing kitten save a life!” are made to pique your interest, while the body of the piece is lackluster. Here’s an example:

“Obama got hungry, and what he did next will AMAZE you!!”

It will? Well, I guess I better click on it…

“He ordered…a SANDWICH”

What the hell? That’s not amazing! That’s tota-

“But not just any SANDWICH”

Oh, I guess I better keep reading…

“A GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH!!!!!!”

OH, COME ON.

I am sick to death of this crap. It makes me not want to click on ANY articles since they’re 90% disappointing. The first place I noticed these hyperbolic headlines was on Upworthy, so I quit clicking on that site entirely. It’s too bad, because they seem to have good intentions. Their methodology just leaves a lot to be desired. Now this trend has spread like wildfire, and it’s beyond aggravating.

If you don’t have good content, you don’t deserve attention.

Don’t get me wrong, jazzy titles are a great way to get views. I try to be somewhat entertaining myself, but blatant exaggeration leads to disappointed readers, leads to NO readers. That is not how you build a loyal following, and I hope all those websites collapse under the weight of their awfulness. What do you call it when you’re really arrogant, and think you’re better and smarter than everyone, and have a smirk on your face that deserves to be punched off of it? Well, that’s what those websites are.

I can only hope that readers become more discerning, and punish companies that do this by ignoring them. I mean, not me, though. I only did it to illustrate a point. DON’T LEAVE ME!

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May 1, 2014. Tags: , , . Random typing.

4 Comments

  1. mywildhood replied:

    I hate that! I saw a friend post an “article” the other day titled something along the lines of “If you have this video baby monitor in your baby’s room, TAKE IT OUT IMMEDIATELY!!!”
    It was talking about how the batteries sometimes “explode” meaning they will pop and leak battery acid and get gross. Solution? Call the company and get new batteries. Now why was this posing such an imminent threat to the babies? Do people have the video monitor in the crib with the baby, and he’s just chewing away on it? It was Re-Dic-Ulous.

    • thatcleverchick replied:

      That’s exactly what I’m talking about. I can only hope that if we all refuse to click on crap like that, this trend will abate.

  2. Thax replied:

    I just want to say my grilled cheese sammiches have changed lives. Also my leaky battery sammiches, but not in the same way. Usually not.

    • thatcleverchick replied:

      I’d like to know what’s in your grilled cheese sammiches, but I’m strangely not curious about the leaky battery ones.

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