Today’s Soundtrack

Sometimes you just get fed up to your eyeballs with work and need something to help you power through. Here are some of my favorite songs for that situation:

The Flaming Lips – Bad Days

Weezer – The Good Life

Franz Ferdinand – Jacqueline

Not related, but awesome music video: Daft Punk – Around the World

Apparently my knowledge of music completely ended in the 90’s. That’s what happens when you listen to nothing but NPR. You guys have any updated selections for me? Please?

 

March 22, 2013. Tags: , , , . Random typing. 2 comments.

I wrote a thing!

My friend Palmer is amazing, and creative, and productive, and she has started her own online magazine. It’s pretty badass. And who has two thumbs and was asked to write for it? This chick! Here’s my super great article. Read it and praise me!

March 15, 2013. Tags: , . Arts and Crafts, Random typing. 2 comments.

I was almost attacked by ninjas

All of this is 100% true, and literally just happened:

So I was sitting in my living room, minding my own business, when my roommate looks up and says “There are ninjas in the back yard”. This of course confused me since I don’t live in feudal Japan. I realized the shock and confusion on her face were genuine, and turned around to look out the windows. Sure enough, a ten year old boy with a shirt wrapped around his head like a ninja hood ran by, in my back yard. Usually there are only squirrels back there, so I was pretty startled. I opened the back door, and Flapjack ran outside. He immediately cornered the ninjas behind the shed, and barked as though he were a full-sized terrifying dog, instead of a tiny corgi. The boys took him seriously, though.

They finally came out from behind the shed, and boy #1 IMMEDIATELY ratted on his buddy. He pulled down his mask, pointed, and said “It was his idea!!” Boy #2 came out from behind the shed, pulled down his hood, and said “No it wasn’t!” I explained to them that if they want to come over again, they need to ask first because we have a much bigger dog also, who just isn’t home right now, so it might not be safe (it probably would, but I am not telling ninjas my secrets). They said okay, and started to walk out of the yard, heads hanging. Flapjack decided to “escort” them out, by barking viciously. They then took off running, and he gleefully chased them across the yard, barking the entire time.

The entire incident was hilarious, and even though I don’t know those kids, I didn’t impugn their honor by laughing in their faces. I congratulated Flapjack thoroughly on protecting the house, and died a little from laughing so hard. I kind of wish they had been a little more dedicated to the roll. I mean, revealing your identity right off the bat?? That’s a rookie mistake! Go watch more Batman, kids. Running around in broad daylight, 5 feet from me while the windows are open is also not very sneaky. And because my yard is dead, the shed is the only thing to hide behind. Hopefully they’ll plan their next expedition a little more thoroughly. And in someone else’s yard.

March 9, 2013. Tags: , , . Random typing. 2 comments.

Pinterest

I have a love/hate relationship with Pinterest. It’s great for finding crafty ideas and inspiration, and I even found a wonderful board showing how much photoshop is really used in magazines; it is eye-opening. But there are also things that make me roll my eyes so hard I need physical therapy afterward.

First let’s complain about discuss tagging etiquette. For the love of Poseiden stop saying “Yes, please!” at the end of everything. You are not shopping on Pinterest. No one is going to hand you the food/crafted item you see. I cannot express how prevalent and obnoxious this is. It makes me want to stab you in the eyes so you can never pin anything ever again.

If you are pinning something, do not write crap like this (taken from an actual pin):

Chef Robin White Aka @canapes45 of @Chatterworks teaches: How to Corn Your Fresh @DArtagnan_Inc Corned Beef. Your INVITED to Pin and Tweet Chat with us: @Chatterworks – @Canapes45 – @KatieSheaDesign – @TheDailyBasics Tweet/Pin with HashTags: #ChatwrksStPat #stpatricksday Tues 3/05 4pm EST Celebrating St Patrick’s Day in #recipes, #drinks, #entertaining and #traditions!

If you are pinning this and don’t delete this garbage you deserve to be slapped with an entire ham. This is impossible to read, packed with useless information, and someone tell me I’m not the only one to notice the glaring spelling error? You are taking up room on my pinterest with your textual garbage. If I wanted to see that I would read yahoo.com (ooh, burn!).

I admit, I am a confirmed cranky old bitch. Phrases like “These kids today have terrible grammar!” complete with impotent fist shaking, are commonplace in conversations with me. I can no longer contain my mockery of pinterest, however, so I created a whole board simply called “Why?”, where I pin terrible things and add my commentary. Follow my journey of snark and ridicule through crafting and recipes. I hope you find it as humorous as I do cathartic.

March 5, 2013. Tags: , , . Arts and Crafts, Random typing. 2 comments.

Quinoa Casserole

I straight up love quinoa, and I don’t care who knows it! I could eat it every day, and here’s an easy way to accomplish that. Cook 2 cups of quinoa, and about half a bunch of kale (I used a whole bunch (literally) and it was a bit too much).

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Mix the cooked quinoa with the kale, and some diced onion, if you want. I used about 1/2 and onion cut in big chunks, because I like to live dangerously. I mixed in a half cup of plain yogurt, but you could go as high as 3/4 to make everything nice and moist. I also use a metric ton of cheese in casseroles, so it’s really hard for me to tell you how much I used. I probably mixed 1 – 1 1/2 cups into the casserole, then scattered at least another 1/2 – 1 cup on top. I know! But it tastes so good!!!!

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I mean, look how delicious that is. Can you really fault the amount of cheese I put in there?

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A couple things I learned while making this that I should have known already: stir it all THOROUGHLY. Nothing ruins a casserole like a dry spot. Also, if you add a little salt you can use less cheese, but would you really want to?? You can also substitute broccoli for kale if you want, and it would still be fantastic. Hell, with as much cheese as I used you can probably substitute old kitchen sponges and it would still taste great!

March 1, 2013. Tags: , , , , , , . Cooking. 1 comment.