I follow George Takei on Facebook. Yes, the Star Trek George Takei. He is absolutely hilarious, and posts ridiculous stuff all the time. Awhile back he posted this:
Hubby found this to be hilarious, so he reposted it on his wall. I, of course, could not let my honor be impinged in such a way, so I posted a response. It’s not that polished, but I think you get the idea:
There you go, sweetie. Fixed that for you!
Apparently my Star Trek drinking game post riled up a few of my Trekkie friends. I’m still friends with them in spite of their Trekkiness, yet that’s not enough for them. One had to write a rebuttal post. It’s not as clever as mine, but who could even come close to that level? I normally don’t post on even-numbered days, but since the guest blogger is Black from Two Tokens, and Friday is their traditional posting day, I’ll allow it. Sit back and enjoy some good natured Star Wars mockery:
For those that do not know, ThatCleverChick is a bit of Star Wars fan. And by a ‘bit’, I mean huge, and by ‘fan’ I mean raving lunatic. She’s called me out on my own geek blog for my many indiscretions regarding Star Wars canon. Everything from name spelling to the anatomical accuracy of a Yuuzhan Vong warrior has been scrutinized under her ever-watchful gaze. She’s chided more than once for my love of Trek. She even refuses to call the show by name, but rather refers to it as “that show with 10 white dudes sitting around negotiating peace treaties.”
I think Star Trek is a far better moniker, but to each their own.
Understand folks, I’m not a Trekkie/Trekker or a Star Wars fanboy; I consider myself an enthusiast of all of the above. However, there comes a time when the scales of nerdom are tipped; and they must be righted so that balance may prevail. That being said, I feel it’s only right to level the playing field. So, grab a Romulian Ale and get comfy. Let’s run down a list of what a Star Wars drinking game would look like – shall we?
1. Anytime brother and sister kiss, drink a beer.
2. Every time Obi-Wan Kenobi loses a fight, drink a beer.
3. Every time someone says “I have a bad feeling about this”, drink two beers.
4. Anytime Anakin seems like he’s going to the ‘dark side’ when in actuality it’s just him being emo and bitching, drink a beer.
5. Anytime someone falls down a shaft, drink a beer.
6. Do three shots every time Jar-Jar says me’sa or something stupid. Check that…only do half a shot, I don’t want any hospital bills.
7. Anytime someone is captured, and instead of killing them, Darth Vadar allows them to escape – finish whatever drink you have.
There’s plenty more, but I’ll leave you with that for now 😉
Clever Chick’s commentary: I only had you people doing shots, because there are so many things that give you the urge to drink in Star Trek, I wanted all of you to restrain yourselves. You’ll notice that Black, however, is trying to get you super drunk, quickly so you don’t realize how far it is between drinks. He also focuses on mocking the prequels, whereas I took the high road, and left the original Star Trek alone, since I know you are all justifiably embarrassed about it. I wouldn’t want to rub salt in your wounds. Someday soon, Black and I will get together and bury the hatchet, probably by creating a Battlestar Galactica drinking game.
I have friends from all walks of life: there are fans of Star Wars, Dr. Who, World of Warcraft, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and yes, even Star Trek. These Trekkies have been insistent that Star Trek is actually interesting, and The Next Generation is a “good” show. I have always had my doubts, but they convinced me to start watching it, especially since it’s on instant on Netflix. I’m on about episode 10 in season 1, and so far? Still not a fan.
It’s pretty bad.
So Hubby and I made it into a drinking game! We haven’t actually been drinking while watching it, because even I don’t hate my liver THAT much, but here are the rules we can up with:
Take a drink:
1) If there’s an energy being.
2) If it’s a sex episode (like they land on a planet obsessed with sex, or the crew gets a virus that makes them want to have lots of sex).
3) If Riker looks at someone really intently, as though he’d like to make sweet sweet love to them (happens most frequently with Picard and Troi).
4) If Wesley Crusher knows what’s going on, but no one will listen to him because he’s just a kid.
5) If Data askes the meaning of a normal word that he should definitely know, because it’s in a dictionary (like aphrodisiac).
6) If any of the characters use their catch phrases: Picard says “Engage”, Troi wines about feelings, or Dr. Crusher tells Picard he should be in sick bay, or vaguely references that they used to be a couple.
7) If Worf gets the crap kicked out of him.
Finish your drink:
1) If there’s an energy being AND a sex episode in one (has actually happened)
Drink 1 gallon of wine:
1) If it’s a Q episode. Alcohol poisoning is a small price to pay to avoid hearing his smarmy voice. He is just awful.
When you get back from the emergency room, hopefully several episodes will have gone by, and new episodes of Doctor Who will be that much closer.
Occasionally, I am required to leave my house and go interact with people in the physical realm, mostly due to social obligations. It’s a travesty, I know. Why can’t I just stay home, watch Star Trek, and drink myself into a stupor, like God intended? I was bitching about having to get all fancy to my new gay BFF (there’s your shout out, bitch!), when he asked “What is ‘Austin Fancy’ exactly? From what I’ve heard and seen its like…a clean pair of shorts”. I explained I was attending an event that required me to SHAVE MY LEGS, so it was obviously a classy affair, but he got me thinking.
Many people know that Texas is like a whole other country, and some people would like it very much if that became a reality. Well, Austin is like a separate country inside that country, like Vatican City. We have Texas pride, but not a lot in common with the rest of the state, at least attitude-wise. You can go out to places that might have a dress code in Houston or Dallas wearing whatever you have on. There might be valets out front, but everyone inside is wearing t-shirts and drinking Dos Equis.
There’s also an interesting phenomenon I haven’t witnessed anywhere else: Young Hippies. They are everywhere here, at outdoor concerts, art shows, coffee houses, museums, you name it. They seem to wear body odor like a merit badge, and their dreadlocks are long and thick. But there are also trust-fund sorority princesses wearing tiny dresses, and puking on shoes that cost more than my car. This city is just diverse and accepting, no matter what you wear or who you are. I’ve seen older people I thought should be home watching Matlock at an art show in a random warehouse on the East side, so it just goes to show you never can tell.
I’m posting this recipe mostly because I did it on accident, and I don’t want to forget what I did. I chopped up a whole onion, 2 carrots, and one small potato, and tossed them in the crock pot. I added a giant spoonful of jarred, chopped garlic, 3/4 of a bag of lentils, 2 handfuls of barley, 2 bay leaves, 4 tablespoons of tomato bullion powder, and water to cover, maybe 8 cups. I set it to cook for 4 hours, then went upstairs and took a nap. The food smelled so good I was dreaming about eating. I woke up because the dogs decided to wrestle on top of me, so I went downstairs to feed them and check the soup. It needed some more water, so I added a bit, and let it do its thing. Ya’ll. It’s FANTASTIC. This is for serious.
I don’t know if it’s the bay leaves or what, but I am DAMN proud of this one. It was insanely easy, and took a total of 10 minutes to throw together. The bullion I used isn’t vegetarian, but you can easily substitute a can of tomato paste, or some tomato glut sauce, since it’s the season to make it. Then it actually would be vegan. This recipe is very cheap, and healthy. I had all the ingredients on hand though, so I can’t calculate exactly how much, or the nutrition info or anything. Meh, do it yourself. I got soup to eat!!
Supposedly, my office is moving next week. Since my boss is a paper hoarder, we have our work cut out for us. The business has also been in this space for at least 10 years, so quite a bit of crap has accumulated. I’m doing my best to recycle what we can, and give unneeded things to Goodwill, or other worthy causes. This is how my car looked a couple days ago:
It looks like I robbed an Office Max. Those trays in the back are stacked 2 rows deep, by the way. It looks slightly better now, but a trip to Goodwill is a necessity this weekend. When I was cleaning out cabinets this morning I found a 3 inch long, dead scorpion, so that kind of shows you what I’m up against. But I (supposedly) get a fridge and a filing cabinet, and definitely a shorter commute out of this deal, so I’m looking forward to it. We’re not going to have a paperless office any time soon (because I’m not the Boss of the World), but we will have a much-reduced collection of paper and out-dated office supplies. Rolodex, anyone?