I am so clumsy

I am constantly injuring myself through clumsiness, and I have decided to start documenting these incidents. Not only will it give me an idea how often I’m actually doing this, but, let’s face it, it’s just good blogging. The posts where I’ve done something idiotic seem to be the most popular, so this is all for your entertainment.

12/9/11: I was trying to refill the paper towels at work. In the midst of unwrapping a new role, I started to drop it. Rather than just catch it, I super-panicky caught it, as though it were made of glass. In the process, inadvertently slapped the copier so hard a piece popped off. I managed to reassemble it, and refill the paper towels, but now a couple of my finger tips are numb.

12/9/11: (about an hour later) Gave myself a horrific paper cut on my right pinky knuckle. It now itch/burns. Both of these injuries were to my right hand.

12/9/11: (about 30 minutes later) While washing my bowl in the sink, I started to drop it (it maybe early, but I think I see a pattern emerging). I tried to catch it, and in the process bent my left thumb nail waaaaayyy back. It hurt. This is not looking good so far.

Ok, I was out of commission due to Hubby The Human Disease Machine, but here’s a few highlights:

12/20/11: At work I banged the top of my head on the cabinets, and home I dropped the footstool so that it scraped the back of my heel, and I slipped on the stairs, causing me to break a nail.

12/21/11: At 12:30 I banged my head into a metal shelf. Not hard, but hard enough to hate myself.

12/25/11: While cooking with Mi Madre I burned my knuckle on the side of a hot frying pan and gave myself a tiny blister.

The last recorded injury of December is a mystery scratch down my right ring finger. I have no idea how I got it, but it smarts like the dickens no matter what I’m doing.

Overall, it doesn’t seem that bad, but I know there’s a lot of stuff that occurred that didn’t make it to the blog. I guess I really do need to be more careful. Or just wear an entire padded outfit at all times. Happy New Year!


December 31, 2011. Tags: , , , . Random typing.


  1. My Near Miss « My Attempts at Cleverness replied:

    […] as I had published this post about my clumsiness, I had a frightening experience. I was in the kitchen preparing to make some eggs for Hubby and I. […]

  2. Garlic Time « My Attempts at Cleverness replied:

    […] …then squish it with your hand. Obviously, be very careful and aim the blade away from yourself. I managed to do this about 100 times in a row with no mishap, so it can’t be that hard. We all know how adept I am at injuring myself. […]

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