I finally tried an apricot

I’m *{error}* years old, (Oh sorry, I forgot the computer can’t comprehend that number) and I had never had an apricot that wasn’t dried until last night. I went to Sprouts yesterday to stock up on a bunch of super cheap and delicious produce, and I saw apricots in a bin, so I got a couple. (I also got some pluots. I’m not even sure what they are, but they were good).

The apricot was disappointing. It’s so tiny, I basically got a mouthful of fur with a tiny amount of slightly sweet flesh attached. I know I could have gotten a bland one, which is one thing I hate about fruit, but my main problem is the fur. I HATE furry fruit: peaches, kiwis, and now apricots gross me out.

I don’t need food with fur on it. Why do I want to eat something that resembles a rodent? If I was pretending to be a snake or an owl, maybe I would consider eating a peach or apricot, but otherwise there is no point. I hate the feeling of the fur on my teeth and toungue. That is not a texture that says, “I’m delicious and juicy!” It says “Excuse me, you’ve mistakenly bitten a throw pillow. Your snack is over there”.

I don’t know why peaches even continue to exist; we have nectarines, people. You don’t have to eat fruit wrapped in velure anymore! Peaches are fine in pies, of course because they are peeled, but what other purpose do they serve?

Anyway, I’ll be sticking with dried apricots, which apprently go through a de-furring process, and nectarines when I want to eat real fruit. That’s right, you just read an entire rant about fruit. Happy Friday!!


August 5, 2011. Tags: , , , , , , . Cooking, Random typing.


  1. Jessica Kornberg replied:

    Pluots are crosses between apricots and plums. Peaches are delicious, give me all of your unwanted peaches and put them in my mouth you crazy woman.

    • thatcleverchick replied:

      I don’t buy peaches. If my peach tree ever grows anything the squirrels don’t eat I will definitely share.

  2. Black replied:

    I loves me some peaches, can’t lie.

  3. Jennifer replied:

    I love furry fruit in general. Maybe I’m secretly a snake-owl. Or maybe the fur just helps regulate the moisture content or something. The juicier the better!

    • thatcleverchick replied:

      I’m thinking my hatred of furred fruit maybe related to the fact that I can’t stand the texture on my teeth. I can’t stand fabric on my teeth either. I used to fold sheets by holding them in my teeth, but ever since I had braces I can’t handle it any more. Let’s just chalk this up to another one of my delightful little nuerosis.

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