Why I Hate Grass

Lately I find myself having to explain things that I feel are pretty obvious. Yesterday it was cars, today it’s grass. I don’t water my yard. I don’t fertilize, seed, aerate, mulch, re-sod, or any of that crap. My philosophy is if it can’t survive on its own, it wasn’t meant to. These are PLANTS. They evolved outside and in certain regions of the country. I’m not going to work my ass off so some Yankee grass can sit there doing nothing. I don’t hire yard guys, chemical spreading dudes, or anything like that.

What is the purpose of a yard? To be a big patch of plain green. Why does it matter what particular plant makes up the green? I keep my weeds mowed down, and it looks just like grass to me. I can’t believe that some people even pull out perfectly good grass because it’s the “wrong” species. It was growing there, right? And it’s obviously better suited to the area than that wuss grass you want. So why not let the stuff that will thrive, thrive?

I think this issue comes more to the forefront here in Texas, and especially the hill country, where I live. We don’t have as much rain as East Texas, but this is not the desert, like West Texas. People still expect you to have a lawn. Don’t get me wrong, my yard is not some kind of blight on the neighborhood. I just let nature have its way out there. Plus I manage to kill all the plants I actual try to grow, so the yard is probably better off without my “delicate” touch.

Much of the year, we are under water restrictions. I’m not going to water my yard when I watch Lake Travis get visibly lower each day. I think it’s completely unethical that people pour drinkable water into the dirt, and it’s beyond selfish.

One thing I do is use soaker hoses around the base of the foundation. You know, those black hoses with holes all over that drip water. We use those (in theory) every evening (but I forget a lot), in order to keep the ground around the foundation moist. This prevents too much shrinkage in the soil, which can cause the foundation to crack. This uses much less water than watering a whole yard, and will (hopefully) prevent major costly repairs in the future.

Save your money and let the yard do what it wants. We use a mulching mower, without a bag, so the grass clippings mulch the yard naturally. My goal is to plant some kind of ground cover that will do well in heavy shade with zero attention, but we just haven’t gotten as far as working on the front yard yet. Give me another couple years, maybe I’ll get to it.


September 16, 2010. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , . House Stuff, Thriftiness is Cool.


  1. forwardenergy replied:

    I have to agree with you, I just got done going over all the requirements for LEED and there are a lot of points referring to Landscaping especially in terms of watering and the types of plants that you use. I personally used to live in the high desserts of Wyoming, it was very common there to see yards completely made out of gravel.

    • thatcleverchick replied:

      You see that everywhere in Arizona as well, which makes a lot more sense. I would love to xeriscape, but my yard is 98% shade, so very little cactus will survive. We’ll see what clever solutions I come up with!

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