I found random pictures of animals on my computer that made me giggle, so I thought I’d share. This is a fat little squirrel that was sitting in a tree where I work.
This is our fat cat, Mushroom. He’s probably not trying to make me trip and fall down the stairs and die. Probably.
This is our little special kitty, Tinkerbell. She has some brain damage from being hit by a car as a kitten, and right here she was staring into a lamp because a moth was flapping around in it. She’s so precious!
As I said, Tinkerbell is a little slow, at best. Just this morning she started to fall off the bathroom counter for no apparent reason. She saved her self from the 2 foot fall by latching onto my ring finger with one claw. I now have a tiny puncture wound. Tink is constantly looking out of windows and doorways, begging to be released into her “natural habitat”. Like most cats she is painfully curious, and her two attempts to exist outside for more than five minutes have ended disasterously.
When I was in college, I lived in an apartment with a few roommates, which I think is pretty “pathet”, or “really cool way to live”. One night, as a roommate was leaving, Tink snuck outside. We were living on the edge of San Marcos at the time, and everything around was a cactus-y wasteland. Hubby and I didn’t notice she was missing until the other cat, Mudface, started looking for her.
We went outside with her jingle bell toy, calling her name and asking the neighbors if they’d seen her. We looked for 45 minutes or so, then headed back to the apartment, preparing for a serious search and rescue effort into the scrub lands. Hubby heard a pathetic mewing coming from a holly bush, three feet from our front door. Tink had achieved her goal of reaching the outside world, then panicked, and hid in the closest place possible.
The second time she was outdoors was much, much worse, but it makes for a funny story now. She was sick, and we were driving from Houston to San Antonio at night. She started acting really odd and twitchy, like she had to use the bathroom. I had the bright idea that we should pull over at the next rest area and see if she would go on the grass. I hadn’t had cats very long at this point in my life, or Tinkerbell in particular, so I had no idea how ridiculously stupid I was being.
She took off towards the woods. Hubby and I ran wildly after her, but to either side so we wouldn’t scare her into running further away. The area was partially lit, but she headed for the dark area, with a lot of trees, and who knows what else. Thankfully, she ran up a tree. Like 20 feet straight into the air. Then she sat up there and cried.
We called the local sheriff who showed up 45 minutes later and determined that we needed the fire department (Cat up a tree, and we need the fire department? I can see I’m not the only clever one here!). The “fire department” showed up another 30 or 45 minutes later.
When I say “fire department” I mean “two guys in a Toyota pick up with a ladder tied to the top”. It was a small town, but this was still less than comforting. The one guy put on his whole fire fighter suit, complete with helmet, before he would climb the ladder to get my retarded kitten. I can only assume he didn’t have a lot of oppotunities to use his gear, so he was probably really excited, and wanted to look professional.
He climbed the ladder and rescued her, and it was super dramatic and heart wrenching. We eventually got her home, and she was fine. She still tries to talk me into letting her outside periodically, but I have learned my lesson quite thoroughly.
This is part 2 in the Strange World of Clever Chick. Odd things have been happening to me for weeks now, and I had to document it, or lose what’s left of my sanity.
We have a very sad peach tree in the back yard. The previous owners, who we all know are morons, planted the thing at a 45 degree angle, so that it’s leaning across the only pathway in and out of the back yard. It is also surrounded by tons of massive trees, so it never gets enough sun. We live in Texas, so it never gets enough water, but neither does anything else. The first year we lived in the house, there were a series of hail storms that knocked every baby peach off the tree. The second year, squirrels at them all. This year however, we have Flapjack.
He chases squirrels like he’s in doggy heaven. It doesn’t matter if they’re in the trees, or on top of the fence, or in the yard. He races after each one as though he will really catch it. When they get into the peach tree, he can reach them because there’s a bench next to it, so I had high hopes of harvesting my own fruit this year. The peaches had a guardian. I have even been watering that crooked, ungrateful wretch every night. I went out there on Thursday to water. The peaches were about the size of a 50 cent piece, and starting to turn peach! I went out there on Friday. No need to water. They had all vanished overnight.
Last night, Tinkerbell, our Siamese cat, inexplicably started attacking the Chrsitmas lights that hang over our bed. They’ve been up for over a year, and she’s never taken any notice of them. She has brain damage from being hit by a car years ago, so I just picked her up, and carried her away from the lights, hoping she’d forget they were there. Hubby and I were laying in bed reading, and petting Flapjack. He likes to lay in bed between us for a little while before he goes to sleep on the floor. He suddenly perked up, and I realized he was looking very intently at something to the left of my head. I looked to see what was so fascinating. A roach.
I think I teleported. The next thing I knew I was standing on top of the ottoman, shrieking. Hubby already had a shoe in hand. Somehow he’d gotten the roach onto the floor, and was attempting to destroy it, but those things are crafty. After much shrieking, running, jumping, and more shrieking on my part, Hubby destroyed and flushed the beast. Woe ye who piss off my Husband, for that shalt be thoroughly vanquished with a flip flop. I, of course, was super-paranoid the rest of the night. I had to sleep with my hair in a braid, because I would flip out every time I saw one of my dark brown locks from the corner of my eye. We all know I do not deal well with roaches. I hope this teaches you all to pay attention to your animals. They don’t just predict hurricanes, and notify us of children in wells.
Another tiny weird thing happened the other day. I was in the shower, and I was washing my very long, heavy hair. A section of it dropped, hitting me on the shoulder. It felt like someone laid their hand on me, and it was freaky as hell!!
Some of you know that we’ve been attempting to have our upstairs bathroom remodeled for months now. There was a long-term leak (again left by the previous home owners, those fantastic human beings), which caused a ton of sheet rock to be damaged, so we have to have the entire tub, and tile surround area removed and replaced. All of this was supposed to be completed in April, but everything has been delayed repeatedly because we ordered our bathtub from Austin Plumbing Supply (link is to the Yelp page because their website has been shut down).
They were constantly putting us off, saying there were delays, or just not responding to emails or calls at all. After a few weeks of this, I looked them up on yelp, and they have only terrible reviews. They have an average of 1 out of 5 stars, so that should tell you something. Sometimes, I’m just not as clever as I try to be. I should have researched them before making a major purchase, but hopefully all of you lovely little minions can learn from my mistake. We finally got the tub and one of the parts delivered to the house, with the promise that the other part would be arriving in a couple weeks.
After even more back-and-forth, I got an email from my contractor this morning. They are closed. Went bankrupt. I think it’s kind of funny. I mean they deserve it, but they either owe me a part, or $75. I’ve already called my bank to dispute the charges since they didn’t deliver the product, so in a way this isn’t my problem any more. It’s nice to not worry about that horrible company anymore (at least for now), but we’re still no closer to being able to shower upstairs.
To top EVERYTHING off, my high school reunion is THIS FRIDAY (as I’m writing this. As you’re reading this, it was yesterday)!! That’s right it’s my
ten year five year reunion (yes, I’m uh..(carry the 4)…23! Really!!) on Friday. I’ve been dieting, and I’ve lost about 10 pounds in the past 3 weeks, but it’s getting hard to be good. I went to Wendy’s yesterday. I still hang out with lots of my friends from high school, so I don’t think I’m nervous, but I keep having crazy dreams, like I’m supposed to get married but forgot to plan the wedding, or I’m supposed to be in medical school, but I never went to any classes, or I got a job but forgot to finish college, so now I have to finish it on the side without my boss finding out. All these crazy things keep happening, which are small, but they’re big enough to keep my slightly off-balance. Add bad sleep to that equation, and you get one crazy Clever Chick. Everyone, please wish me luck, and don’t let me have any carbs until Saturday.
This is the second session of me wandering around the house playing with blocks. Lots of people seemed to find the first one pretty funny, so I hope ya’ll like these too!
Tinkerbell was sleeping upstairs, so she avoided torment the last time. I love how Flapjack photobombed the background!
Sadly, it’s true.
Random thrift store things:
After this, I made the pink octopus, which is just a plastic kid’s toy, into a necklace (like in this previous post). I was then promptly complimented on it at Home Depot. I am so amazing, I hardly know what to do with myself sometimes! Then I almost set my house on fire, and my swelled head goes back to normal proportions.
And this one is just for my sis, Beans, who is almost a celebrity now, thanks to my blog!
cause SHE LOVES TIGERS!!!