Pinterest

I have a love/hate relationship with Pinterest. It’s great for finding crafty ideas and inspiration, and I even found a wonderful board showing how much photoshop is really used in magazines; it is eye-opening. But there are also things that make me roll my eyes so hard I need physical therapy afterward.

First let’s complain about discuss tagging etiquette. For the love of Poseiden stop saying “Yes, please!” at the end of everything. You are not shopping on Pinterest. No one is going to hand you the food/crafted item you see. I cannot express how prevalent and obnoxious this is. It makes me want to stab you in the eyes so you can never pin anything ever again.

If you are pinning something, do not write crap like this (taken from an actual pin):

Chef Robin White Aka @canapes45 of @Chatterworks teaches: How to Corn Your Fresh @DArtagnan_Inc Corned Beef. Your INVITED to Pin and Tweet Chat with us: @Chatterworks – @Canapes45 – @KatieSheaDesign – @TheDailyBasics Tweet/Pin with HashTags: #ChatwrksStPat #stpatricksday Tues 3/05 4pm EST Celebrating St Patrick’s Day in #recipes, #drinks, #entertaining and #traditions!

If you are pinning this and don’t delete this garbage you deserve to be slapped with an entire ham. This is impossible to read, packed with useless information, and someone tell me I’m not the only one to notice the glaring spelling error? You are taking up room on my pinterest with your textual garbage. If I wanted to see that I would read yahoo.com (ooh, burn!).

I admit, I am a confirmed cranky old bitch. Phrases like “These kids today have terrible grammar!” complete with impotent fist shaking, are commonplace in conversations with me. I can no longer contain my mockery of pinterest, however, so I created a whole board simply called “Why?”, where I pin terrible things and add my commentary. Follow my journey of snark and ridicule through crafting and recipes. I hope you find it as humorous as I do cathartic.

March 5, 2013. Tags: , , . Arts and Crafts, Random typing. 2 comments.

Glitter Heels

If you haven’t noticed, I am completely fixated on Pinterest. They have so many crafting and DIY ideas, my hands will never be idle again. Unfortunately, not all the ideas work out for me. I saw this idea of how to fix some worn-looking heels:

I went so far as to actually read the instructions and everything. The original author used Mod Podge and fine glitter. I tried a couple other things before following her method. A few of you know this, but I have a fear/hate relationship with loose glitter. I believe as you use it, you accidentally inhale it. It then settles into your lungs, causing scarring and ultimately death. I call this condition “Sparkle Lung” or “Crafter’s Lung”.

Because of my paranoia, and my love of lung function, I tried glitter already in paint form. This does nothing, so don’t bother. I also tried the glue you see here:

That crap is WAAAAAYYY too thick, and it has all these warnings about not using it on varnished furniture, so that was disturbing. I only attempted to use this on one of the heels, but it was a disaster. So here we are, back to the Mod Podge. You are supposed to make a really thick paste with the Mod Podge and glitter, then paint it onto the heels, like so:

Even after 2 coats, and letting it dry thoroughly in between, my results looks nothing like hers. My shoes now have glittery tumors all down the back. One of them is worse because I experimented with that terrible glue first, but the other one isn’t much better.

I don’t know if the color of glitter I used is the problem, if there wasn’t enough glitter in my paste, or if there was too much. Either way, shoes that were looking shabby are…still looking shabby. I don’t really know what to do with them at this point. Poor shoes. I should have used my old stand-by: Nail Polish!!

March 25, 2012. Tags: , , , , , , . Arts and Crafts. 2 comments.

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