You know and I know that I’m amazing, but (hold on to your crochet hooks) I didn’t get this way on my own. I know, I know. “But you’re so unique and talented”, you’re thinking. “How could you be anything but a gift from the gods themselves?” That is a good question, and a valid point, but I can assure you I am a normal human being (I mean, cooler than most, obviously) and I was raised by a family just like the rest of you minions.
I was reflecting the other day on what made me so awesome after reading Mi Madre’s blog post about quilts that her grandmother made for me and my sister as babies. That sentence right there tells you a lot. Not only does my mom blog, (and my dad, and my sister, Beans), she taught us from an early age to value and revere handmade items, and to treasure things passed down through the family.
I have also learned some of my crafting skills from my family. My maternal grandmother taught me and Beans to crochet, and Mi Madre taught me the basics of quilting. We were always given free reign with arts and crafts as kids; maybe a little too free since Beans enjoyed biting the tips off markers. Mom taught us a lot about jewelry making, and sculpting beads, and just general crafts. Art, crafting, and DIY were always encouraged in our house. My dad has mad skillz when it comes to home repairs, which I’ve tried to exploit, but not that well.
Basically, since it’s Mother’s Day, I’d like to say thank you to all the women in my family who have not only passed down important skills, but have also passed down the knowledge to value these skills and their products. Thanks so much, and I love you. I hope you liked this blog post because I forgot to send a card! HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!
I completely stole this idea from my sister, Beans. She and her hubby make breakfast tacos in bulk, then freeze them, and take them to work all week. I have been on a quest to make breakfasts I can bring to work, so I thought I’d give this a try. First, I cooked half a package of bacon, 8 strips. My whole house smells like bacon now. It’s hard not to lick the walls.
I seeded and chopped up 8 jalapenos and an onion.
Oh, I guess ingredients are a good idea. I used 8 jalapenos, 1 onion, 14 eggs, 16 tortillas, 1 package of bacon with 16 strips in it, and about a cup and a half of cooked pinto beans. Garlic salt and Sriracha to taste.
When I was chopping jalapenos I found a tiny hitchhiker! Just so you know, if you open up the jalapeno and the seeds are all dark brown, instead of off-white, you might have some of these dudes in there. I have no idea what it is, but it was adorable, so I didn’t cook him.
I sauteed the jalapenos and onions in the bacon fat, then added the 14 scrambled eggs.
While that was cooking, I set up my taco assembly area. There are a dozen tacos to go into the freezer, and 2 each for me and Hubby for breakfast.
After the eggs were cooked, I put them in a separate bowl, but I should have just put them in their tacos to avoid extra dirty dishes. I then cooked the remaining 8 strips of bacon, and used the leftover bacon fat to make refried beans. All of that then got apportioned to the 16 tacos.
MILES AND MILES OF TACOS!
I then rolled each one up in a paper towel, put them all on a tray, and slid them in the freezer. I already know this tray fits in my freezer perfectly, and this is the one I always use when I’m freezing stuff. Once they’re frozen, keep them in their paper towels, and put them in a large ziplock bag.
Of course, I had to test the recipe and make sure I would want to eat these at work for at least a week. The test-breakfast of champions.
I know I’m from Texas, but I never had breakfast tacos until adulthood. I blame my mother. It’s not her fault, she’s a *shudder* Yankee, so she didn’t know any better. I don’t know if the lack of breakfast tacos in my early life is why I obsess over them now, or if they’re just so good, they warrant this kind of devotion. Either way, I could survive on them easily. There are so many things you can put in them, they’re fast, cheap, fairly healthy, and you can eat them any time of day. Super food? More like….something far more awesome than super. Dammit, I should have said “More like Awesome Food”. Oh well. I’m still surrounded by bacon fumes; I’m not thinking too clearly.
*UPDATE* I have recently made another batch, and did the math on how much each one costs:
1 onion = $0.50
1 pound jalapenos = $0.74
1 package of bacon = $6.00
1 giant can pinto beans = $2.00
20 tortillas (out of a 50 pack) = $1.20
13 eggs = $1.69
That totals up to $12.13, or $0.61 per taco. If you don’t use bacon, they would cost half as much and be vegetarian, but then they wouldn’t have bacon. I also tried green onions instead of white, because they aren’t as watery, and they turned out great.
Here are even more pics of our fabulous antique adventures:
The best part about shopping with Beans and Mi Madre, is that we just walk around mocking all the horrible things we find. We love to pick out hideous things to traumatize each other with. We’re constantly asking each other “Who would make this? How on Earth did this object actually get mass-produced?” (aside from the Fonz puzzle. Who WOULDN’T want one of those??) When we find bizarre ceramic animals we give them names, like Sarcastic Deer and Skeptical Puppy. The snark is the entertainment, and it is endless. If we could be drinking at the same time, it would be so awesome the time-space continuum would rip apart from too much awesome being in one location. Which is why we stay sober. For the benefit of the Universe. YOU ARE WELCOME.
I just want to leave you with one final image. When I was uploading all these photos, the computer froze on this image for a good 20 seconds, and it was slightly disturbing. It is hypnotic, yet frightening, alluring, yet repellent. I give you:
I know I am constantly telling you all how amazing and hilarious my sister is. We didn’t always get along when we were young, but now she’s one of my best friends. We are constantly stalking each other through the internet, and now I have one more option: she has finally started a blog!
It’s called My Wildhood, and it is awesome. Not only is she hilarious, she’s full of all kind of useful information. She focuses more on nature and the outdoors, while I focus on crafting and sitting down. Enjoy stalking Beans as much as I do.
As usual, my sis Beans and I can’t resist finding ridiculous things at the thrift store. Since she LOVES TIGERS!!! we notice lots of things in that category.
Beans was visibly excited about this find, but fortunately, so decided to leave it behind.
This is Wetherbee. He’s missing both legs, and sadly we couldn’t recover them. Beans started speaking for Wetherbee, using a Scottish accent, and it was hilarious. She even wrote a story about how he lost his legs! Look for it in and upcoming post.
Thrift stores provide hours of entertainment for us.
We had a hugely fun, spectacular Halloween party again this year, and our friends really brought it with their costumes! I wish I had gotten pictures of everyone, but once the box wine starts flowing I get a little less than reliable.
Left to right we have The Crow, Hermione Granger from Harry Potter, me, my sister the fortune teller, and the super hot amazing badass pirate that I married.
Here we have Inmate #38258 and an awesome monster!
Death’s Lesser known cousin Gerald stopped by for a while…
…but Death stayed kind of aloof.
She gets mean if you try to take her vodka away.
A pimp/rapper, Jan Brady, and a tiny raccoon stopped by also.
Beans and I had a great time, as always!
(Another story starting with) my sis, Beans, and her husband signed up for the annual Lake Travis Underwater Cleanup this year. They both have their scuba licenses and gear, and they suckered us into helping on the shore cleanup. Here’s Hubby in his free t-shirt, super excited to pick up trash.
The lake is so low due to lack of rain, I was finding beer cans they haven’t even made as long as I’ve been alive. The scenery was really pretty, aside from that giant block of Styrofoam down there.
I was honestly taking these pictures because it was so beautiful out. I wasn’t just making up an excuse for catching my breath.
Here’s the rant I was mentally writing while I was bent over, in the heat, clean up after lazy bastards: DO NOT BRING GLASS CONTAINERS to a ROCK BEACH!!!! I don’t care how smart, or coordinated, or lucky you think you are, you will break glass, and it will go ev-er-y-where. And people are walking barefoot!! This is a beach!! It maybe made of rocks, but it still counts. And guess how broken shards of glass fall between rocks; sharp edge up, primed for foot-stabbing.
If you are dumb enough to bring glass to the lake, and then clumsy enough to break it, for the love of Neil Patrick Harris, CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF. What kind of lazy, moronic, selfish jack-wagons are spending time at Lake Travis?? This is far worse than people who leave cigarette butts everywhere (although they should still be ashamed of themselves), because the glass can severely injure someone, who then has to HIKE BACK UP A BABY MOUNTAIN to get to their car!! The very worst human beings, honestly, are the people who bring CLEAR glass, then break it, and leave it behind. Do you think that’s easy to see? It is literally almost invisible!! And some of the shards I was picking up were the size of tennis balls; deadly, deadly tennis balls. That would destroy someones foot. I hope there is an afterlife, and those people end up walking over invisible stabby things for all eternity.
So, to lighten the mood, here’s Finley! He looks like an otter, but he’s some kind of fish, who wears scuba gear. Delightful!
And me and Beans, adorable as always. Overall, it was a great day, a fantastic workout, and I helped the community. Oh, and hung out with Beans, but whatevs. I think she left an ugly dog statue in my house as revenge, but I can’t find it. If I find it, I’ll take a picture and tell the story. If not, I think she’s just messing with me. What a cow!
I was going to write a blog post about “How to sell your car”, but I thought, forget it. You people can figure it our your damn selves, the same way I had to. The last thing I need is people thinking I know what I’m talking about. (Oh fine. Here’s the link for Texas. People in states that are not spontaneously combusting can fend for themselves). When I sold my Honda CR-V, I had to remove all the stickers and other bits that gave it personality. One of those was my adorable little Darwin Fish.
You can see all the silver has worn off the lettering. What does it need? GLITTER. I like where this is headed.
Two coats of red glitter nail polish, and Darwin is blinged-out! Ready for my next car, whatever that may be.
If you find yourself having to remove stickers from your car, the easiest way I’ve found is to buy one of these little razor blades:
It’s basically a small plastic handle that a normal razor blade fits into. They cost about a dollar at Home Depot or Wal-Mart. This makes it much easier to get between the sticker and the glass, and also makes it more likely you’ll get the whole thing off. You can also open it up, and flip the razor blade around so that the sharp part is covered up while you aren’t using it. It’s a pretty clever little gadget. You can see I tested it thoroughly:
This is just one more random photo. This was my antenna ball, until we realized that her cowboy hat was catching the wind while I drove, causing her to whack the roof constantly. It made a very worrying knocking sound, so I took her off and kept her on the dash. A well-meaning car cleaner guy, who was removing a half gallon of spilled milk from my floor boards (don’t ask), armor-alled the dash board, thus giving my antenna ball her five o’clock shadow. My sister, Beans, (all of my ridiculous stories start with “My sister, Beans…”) got in my car at one point and wanted to know why the hell I have a drag queen/king antenna ball sliding back and forth across the dash as I drive. I told her the whole story, and we dubbed her Pearl, the tough, female, truck driver. We started doing a “Pearl Voice” that sounds similar to Sling Blade, but slightly less effeminate. Anything with my sister evolves into these long, drawn-out, inexplicable scenarios. We entertained each other for an entire afternoon doing impressions of Pearl. When I sold the Honda, I kept Pearl, and she will, hopefully, be a perpetual passenger in my next vehicle.
Now that my Explorer (briefly named Carthulhu), has ALSO bitten the dust, I am about fed up with cars. But I saw this on the road the other day, and it makes me feel slightly better about my problems:
I maybe going through issues, but at least I can
still enjoy laughing at realize there are people less fortunate than I am.
My sis Beans just bought a house. Yes, she’s a real grown up now! I had the chance to go visit her, and of course, drink a lot, but while it was still early in the day, and socially unacceptable to drink, we had to pass the time somehow. We decided to go dig through the block of antique shops in Richmond, outside of Houston. That place has always been a gem of weird, and affordable antiques, and we both love going there. Here are some pics of the things that would be filling my house right now, if my car hadn’t broken down. AGAIN.
This is a tiny, dollhouse-sized, Japanese privacy screen. The detail is amazing, and it’s double sided! It was hard to leave this behind. I wonder if I can make my own at some point??
This is a tiny pitcher, similar to a child’s tea set. It’s designed to look like Fiesta Ware, but it was not authentic. It was only $2, and I fell in love with the vivid orange color. Sadly, I have zero orange stuff in the house, so I avoided one more piece of clutter. It’s a really good thing I didn’t buy this, because I kept seeing other things that were this shade of orange and thinking, “That will go with my new tiny pitcher! I should get that too!” I’m sure all the orange would look great under the bridge we’d have to move to.
This is an old, closed down, art-deco movie theater in town. I hope someone restores it at some point.
Who doesn’t need a giant harpy shelf?
This is basically a fancy paper doll. Her dress is fabric, and her hair is thread. She’s just really gorgeous.
This type of glassware is very popular and very common, but the prices can be a bit steep. I love the colors, and they come in a variety of patterns.
This was really hard to pass up; it’s a Hindu goddess the size of a dinner plate!
I love this tiny, google-eyed deer. Sorry the picture isn’t great.
Here is Beans posing with what is probably the best antique shop find of all time. Those are naked lady salt and pepper shakers!! They were just too expensive for something you’d have to hide when grown-ups come over.
I just love the artwork on this. It’s in great shape.
Doubtful puppy is doubtful.
Startled baby is startled.
I didn’t open this book, but I wish I had. It was put out by Imperial Sugar, the company my hometown, Sugar Land, is named for.
Look at the freaky poodle twins next to the creepy boots!
I love the color and design of this old Easy Bake Oven. It would be so cute in a real kitchen!
This was the creepiest thing we saw the whole day.
I’ll just leave you with that image.
I’ve been spending a lot of time lately crafting for friends and family, like the cake topper and wedding favors for my sister, Beans. This post is going to show some of those gifts, and serve as an excuse for not doing many crafting posts.
For Jessica, I made a tiny gnome head magnet (which is part of an on-going weird joke between us), and a box of Cadbury creme eggs, of which I did not steal ONE.
This is a necklace for my sis, Beans, inspired by a recycle poster, which is why the tree is made of arrows.
UPDATE: I found the inspiration pic for this:
This is a monster baby. I made it out of some fabric by running it around the sewing machine with no real plan in mind.
He’s wearing a cape with SB on it, which stands for Super Baby. He’s playing super heroes, with his pet cow.
I named the cow Moothusela. This monster baby was made for Kathy Phan-tastic for her birthday.
Nuclear explosion? No problem! Super Baby to the rescue! (The background is part of a painting by my super-talented Hubby). So it just goes to show, being friends with me has its benefits. I love giving handmade gifts whenever I can.