Cause I make stuff like this, then put it on your Facebook.
I found random pictures of animals on my computer that made me giggle, so I thought I’d share. This is a fat little squirrel that was sitting in a tree where I work.
This is our fat cat, Mushroom. He’s probably not trying to make me trip and fall down the stairs and die. Probably.
This is our little special kitty, Tinkerbell. She has some brain damage from being hit by a car as a kitten, and right here she was staring into a lamp because a moth was flapping around in it. She’s so precious!
I went antiquing with my sister, Beans, and our mom a couple weekends ago. In order to restrain myself from buying all the adorable, frightening, weird things I find, I’ve started taking pictures instead. Here are a whole bunch of them:
So, I apparently took a crap-ton of pictures, so now this is a 2 part blog post! Hooray, me!
For Hubby’s pirate birthday, we had lots of food, and alcohol, and a couple essentials: Pirate’s Booty -
- and oranges, to prevent scurvy. It’s awful when guests start dropping teeth all over the floor.
The food, decor, and music were all great, and even our non-piratical friends had fun.
Flapjack was having too much fun to hold still.
We had scarves, eye patches, and paper hats for those of our mates who are not as nauticalliy oriented as we are, and of course Hubby has the most epic pirate costume of all. There is a lot of my blood, sweat, and tears in that jacket of his, literally.
Costumes are just so much fun, and so many of our friends costumed-up spectacularly. I wish I was better at remembering to take pictures at these things! If you were there and have pics, let me know and I will add them on here.
The date today is 3/14, aka 3.14, aka the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter. So today, March 14, is Pi Day. I intend to celebrate by buying a pie, because I don’t have time to cook one, and I have to go to the store anyway. Hubby ate all the tortillas. You feel like making a pie yourself? I still have you covered because I AM THAT AWESOME. Follow these simple, yet hilarious and inspiring instructions to make a holiday-appropriate dessert. I’m so amazing.
For his pirate party, Hubby grew out his beard. He does this periodically, and has a ritual when he shaves it off again. He shaves off pieces, and comes out of the bathroom randomly with progressively more ridiculous facial hairstyles. I finally decided to document this process so you can all be as entertained as I am.
Hubby and I have just had a rather harrowing experience. All of this story is true, and I’m writing this a couple hours after it happened, with all of the facts in order as we determined them later. We were at a friend’s house playing board games, when suddenly there was a panicky pounding at the door. The homeowner answered the door and we heard “Call 911! My baby isn’t breathing!”
Our friends’ neighbor had come over in a panic because her 8 day old daughter was having trouble breathing. The neighbor had been breast feeding, when suddenly the baby started struggling to breath. When the neighbor first walked in the door, the baby was bright red and limp as a doll. We were all shocked, and unsure what to do. Travis, one of the homeowners, called 911 right away, but had issues with cell service. He calmly kept after it and reached them, giving them the address and situation concisely.
Over the next few minutes, it became evident that the baby was having trouble breathing, not “not breathing”. The baby momma was a mass of panic. She kept pounding the baby on the back, and saying she wasn’t breathing even though she was crying continuously. She kept flipping the baby from her back to her stomach, and asking us (all childless) what to do. Several of us told her many times things along the lines of “The EMT’s are almost here”, “She’s crying, that means she can breath”, and other reassuring things. None of this seemed to sink in. She kept saying “Please, help me”.
It was a really sad situation, and in a way I wish I could have reacted better. I did go over to her and try to sooth her, rubbing her back and telling her that if the baby can cry it means she can breath, and I don’t really know what else I could have done. We were in a position where I felt my friends were “in charge” since this was their house and their neighbor, but the woman was not listening to reason, and was completely flipping out, disproportionately to what was occurring.
The EMTs arrived quickly, and she stood on the porch and beckoned to them. None of us can figure out why she didn’t run over to the ambulance. It was nice weather, they were only across the street, and it’s a cul-de-sac, so there was no traffic. The only explanation for any of her actions is that she was panicked out of her mind. It turned out the baby’s nose was stuffed with snot, which was causing the breathing problems. After the mom gave her baby to the EMTs, she came back into the house holding one of those snot sucky things they give you at the hospital when you first have a baby, and retrieved her cell phone. That’s right, she carried her cell phone over to the neighbor’s instead of calling 911 herself.
Here’s the other thing; her 2-3 older kids (one of the 3 boys that followed her around might have been her nephew or something) followed her into the house we were in, and were trying not to cry. This is perfectly acceptable for their age. I only bring this up to point out that this lady has had at least 2 other babies, and must have dealt with stuff like this at some point. I couldn’t even have a younger sibling without learning that kids hurt themselves, and you can’t panic about it. You have to fix it now, and let yourself be upset later.
The whole thing was stunning and bizarre. Looking back now it’s easy to say that I could have done this or that, but honestly I was scared to. I didn’t know what was wrong with the baby, I haven’t had or handled any babies, especially that young, and (shameful as it is) I did not want to be held responsible if something went terribly wrong. It became evident after a few minutes that the mom was going overboard, and wouldn’t listen to anyone talking to her, but the baby was probably okay.
We (and when I say “we” I mean Sara) did at least try to entertain the three boys who were probably between ages 5 and 8. I think it was completely ridiculous that their mom was flipping out like this in front of them, totally disregarding what they were dealing with. And to have raised at least 2 boys without severe injuries and yet be completely ape-bonkers? This is the other kicker: the neighbor on the other side has multiple children about the same age as her boys. Why go to the house with the twenty-something childless couple when you know your neighbor on the other side has kids? And why not just call 911 yourself in the first place? (She used the phone later to call her husband/baby daddy, so we know it was working).
Overall, I kind of wish I had acted differently, but I honestly don’t know what I could have possibly done. It was evident fairly quickly to all of us childless people present that the baby was crying, so therefore was able to breath. The mom had one of those sucky things to remove all the booger stuff that was choking the baby, and she knew she’d been breast feeding, so there was no chance she swallowed something solid. She should have had plenty of experience with babies already, and had access to a neighbor who also had plenty of experience (at least 3 kids’ worth) that she could call on. She had her own phone to call 911.
Again, all of this being said, I am not a parent, so I have no idea what kind of horrifically blinding fear was running through this woman. Everything turned out okay, so in the end it’s a moot point. I hope I never have to be that scared for a child of mine, but I also hope that I’ll be able to react more rationally than this woman did.
Some very few readers (Jessica) have probably noticed that I haven’t been posting as regulary as I used too, or as I would like. My job has recently gotten more
demeaning demanding, so I don’t have as much time for fun things, like sleeping and breathing. I am still your wonderful, amazing, beautiful, intelligent, modest Clever Chick, and I will continue to post as often as possible.
I know I am constantly telling you all how amazing and hilarious my sister is. We didn’t always get along when we were young, but now she’s one of my best friends. We are constantly stalking each other through the internet, and now I have one more option: she has finally started a blog!
It’s called My Wildhood, and it is awesome. Not only is she hilarious, she’s full of all kind of useful information. She focuses more on nature and the outdoors, while I focus on crafting and sitting down. Enjoy stalking Beans as much as I do.
For those of you living under a rock, SOPA is the “Stop Online Piracy Act” bill currently stuck in Congress. The bill is aimed toward ending piracy of movies and music on the internet, but it is written so poorly that if anyone is even accused of copyright infringement they can be shut down until they prove their innocence.
That’s right: guilty until proven innocent.
Google, Yahoo, Wikipedia, Regretsy, and tons of other websites have turned off for the day, or made some form of protest. My tiny blog is joining these behemoths to show that I, too, support freedom of the internet. George Takei has written a much more eloquent protest here, and here’s a much more detailed accounting of how the bill works.
This is important, and we need to stop it.
My poor sis Beans was having some trouble sleeping the other day, and it made me think about how many “sleep advice” columns I’ve read online. They all discuss things like not having too much caffeine during the day, and having a bed time routine to help your brain realize it’s bed time. It seems to me that they fail to address the causes of wakefulness. You can ask Beans, I generally sleep fine, and lots, but there are times I can’t sleep. I love sleep, so when things are keeping me up I get rather irritated (and by “irritated” I mean filled with white-hot rage).
When you’re laying there trying to fall asleep, try to analyze what exactly is preventing you, then try to fix it. Usually once I’m already in bed I don’t want to get up to fix stuff, so I’m going to offer you a quick-fix and a long-term fix.
1. Room is too bright – Temporary fix: put a pillow or blanket over the upper half of your face. Don’t smother yourself. You may need to cover or turn your clock if it’s too bright. Long-term: depending on the light source, you may need to block it different ways. Make sure as many lights as possible in your home are turned off before bed. If it’s coming from outside, hang up thick curtains, or hang a bed sheet up inside the curtains you have to block more light. You can hang curtains over doorways as well, if light is penetrating the cracks.
2. It’s too hot/cold – Temporary fix: if you’re too cold, try to fold your blankets double over you, and tuck them in all around. Also covering the top of your head should help. Too hot. throw blankets off and sleep as spread out as possible. You may have to turn on a fan, turn down the AC, or get your hair wet to cool off. Long-term: figure out what temperature makes you most comfortable for sleep. If you are consistently cold throw a bunch of extra blankets on the bed, and use flannel sheets. If that’s not enough consider getting a space heater or electric blanket. If you’re always hot, cotton sheets and blankets should keep you cooler than synthetics, and you might need to invest in a box fan.
3. It’s too noisy – Temporary fix: scream at whoever is making the noise until they shut up. If that’s not feasible, try putting a pillow over your head. Long-term: if this is a constant problem try to talk to whoever is creating the noise to see if they can cut it down. If that’s not possible, like for road noise, you have a few options: ear plugs, a white noise machine or a fan to drown out the noise, or hang thick curtains to block noise. You can even hang up quilts, which will help insulate against noise and temperature.
4. Racing thoughts – Temporary fix: I get this problem a lot usually when we’re about to go out of town. It’s usually along the lines of “I need to remember to make coffee, get the bags, pack my toothbrush, grab that book just in case, and the snacks in the fridge…” etc, etc. I have found that it helps me to list the things I need to remember, then just concentrate on remembering the number of items there are. So in the example above I would remember the number 5. In the morning I can just focus on recalling those 5 things, and that has helped me a lot. Long-term: keep a notebook and pen next to the bed to write things down. If you’re like me the thought of turning on the light is like torture, so rather than messing with that, get a pen that has a tiny light in the end. I have had several of these over the years, and they are convenient and inexpensive. You could also write down your thoughts at the end of the day before you turn in to help prevent this problem in the first place.
5. Not tired – I can’t think of a temporary fix. I generally read something boring for awhile until my brain is finally ready to leave me alone. Long-term: try to wear yourself out during the day. I know when I am physically exhausted sleep is usually much easier.
I hope that helps everyone. I love sleep so much, I hate the days when it eludes me, and I know it’s not pleasant for anyone. Happy dreaming!