How to Survive a Car without Air Conditioning
I apologize. I wrote this post yesterday, but apparently hitting “publish” was not enough confirmation for word press that I actually wanted other people to read this. Sorry I’m so behind. Here’s the post:
I will preface this with a reminder: I live in Texas, and we are having an epic drought right now. And the vehicle I drive is black. The AC is out for some unknown reason, and I’m not sure if it’s worth it to fix the thing. The AC is not simply broken; it’s like having 4 hair dryers blowing on you when it’s on, even when it’s supposedly blowing in outside air. I have developed a few strategies to deal with this problem.
1) Park in the shade: especially with the car being black, this is super important. If you prevent the beast from heating up too much at the outset you can survive longer.
2) Block the sun: If shade is not available, one of those windshield blocker things helps, and you can get those in great shape at the thrift store. I’m using a massive piece of cardboard right now, which I refer to as “the theft discourager”. While you’re driving, utilize the sun block flaps (I’m not sure of the proper lingo) to keep the sun off of you as much as possible.
3) Keep yourself cool: Drinking cold beverages will help cool you off internally. Depending how long you’ll be in the hot car, you may want to spritz or flick yourself with water also. The most recent strategy I discovered is putting a really cold drink between your thighs while you drive. It horrible for the first few seconds, but it works, I promise.
4) Crack the windows: While the car is parked, in shade or otherwise, put the windows down a teensy amount, like half an inch, to let hot air out. The theory is that since hot air rises, if you leave the windows cracked at the top a tiny bit, the hottest air can escape, rather than just re-circulating and keeping the car hot.
5) Wear layers: sounds counterintuitive, I know. Usually when I drive the Tank (the Gas Tank, as we like to call it), I’m driving to work. My office is frigid, to the point where I have a space heater under my desk. I try to wear layers to stay warm at the office, that I can remove and stay cooler in the car. I generally try to wear a tank top under all outfits so I can get down to that while driving. I also wear flip flops to and from the office, and I have work shoes in my office I change into like Mr. Rodgers. It helps me adjust to the insane temperature variants I have to deal with every day.
Depending on the situation, driving with the windows down is not always helpful. I can’t stand it when I’m driving on the freeway, and usually the air outside is just as hot, so it does me no good. I generally avoid driving this car as much as possible, and only on short trips. I hopes this helps you all not pass out.
– That Clever Chick