How did it go?
So after my constant bitching about Christmas, and stress, and family drama, I’m sure you’re all wondering how everything turned out. Well, here’s how it went down. Thursday, even though family arrival was imminent the following day, I laid down, read a book, and took a nap. Hubby didn’t get home until after midnight, and I cleaned and wrapped presents from around 11pm to 3am, or so.
I woke up around 9am, cleaned some more, and fortunately, most of the family groupd were at least an hour later than planned. This gave me time to drink way too much coffee, and run around the house, shrieking obscenities at the animals for not keeping their fur to themselves. By the time my folks arrived, the place was decent, and even smelled ok, but mostly because it smelled like coffee. I think it was exuding from my pores at this point.
Cars were unloaded, and random accumulations of things were brought in. (Oh, I forgot to mention I had to re-clean my craft room, because of course it is a hot mess, and it was going to be used for an additional guest room). My Gram in Dallas sent two huge tubs of yarn with Mommy Dearest for me and my sis Beans to divide between us. This resulted in Beans taking the only 6 rolls of yarn that matched each other, and leaving me with all the random stuff (which is fine. I’m going to make stuffed animals out of it, and Beans will be jealous!).
So fast-forward to the best part of all: gifts. This part of the story starts a few weeks ago. Hubby is a HUGE Star Wars fan, and has been his entire life. He has been wanting an FX light saber for as long as I’ve known him, and this year the Star Wars website was having a huge cyber-Monday sale, so I broke down and bought it. Knowing this probably suspicious-looking package would be arriving at the house, I took the precaution of not allowing Hubby to check the mail (our mail has an area for packages, but little did I know how massive this package would be).
I was at work, on the phone with Hubby as he arrived home one day. We were chatting, when he suddenly said “UH OH!” in very worried tones. I, of course, had no idea what was going on, and assumed it was something actually bad.
Hubby: ”There’s a package on the porch! It’s all long and skinny.”
Me: “Oh crap! Don’t look at it!”
Hubby: “It’s too late! My brain already put something inside it!”
Me: “Just put it in my craft room and don’t look at it (praying it doesn’t say STAR WARS.COM on the side in huge letters). Look, I don’t want you to get your hopes up. It’s just a poster (thinking this is a stroke of genius lie).”
Hubby: “This box is kind of bog for a poster”
Me: “Uhh, it’s a big poster. That’s why I had to order it online”
Hubby: “You’re a terrible liar”
When I got home, I saw the box was completely blank on the outside, thankfully, but it about arm-pit height, which made it damned hard for my poster explanation to be plausible. I opened the box to check, and yes the glorious light saber was in there.
Me: “Yeah, it’s what I thought it was. I don’t know why they used such a big box”.
Hubby: “I’m dashed.” (seemingly disappointed).
Over the next week or so, Hubby and I went back and forth about it, and I kept telling him a lightsaber was too expensive, and he kept telling me I was a terrible liar. The Wednesday before Christmas, I happened upon a Star Wars poster he didn’t have, and then the idea came to life. When I got home, I took the light saber out of the humongo-box, wrapped it separately, and hid it in my closet. I put the cheap, tiny poster (which he’ll like anyway), into humngo-box, and wrapped it.
The whole family opened all of their presents, then I let Hubby open the “big” present. When he opened it, he tried so hard not to look disappointed. He smiled, unrolled the poster, and told me it was cool, and said thank you. His face turned a bit pink, and he gave me a brave smile.
We started clearing up the mess, and I looked around and said “Beans, I think I forgot one of your presents. Let me go check” (I worked this out as a signal ahead of time, so she wouldn’t be disappointed. Don’t worry I wouldn’t do that to my only sister!). When I came back I had the wrapped light saber behind me, and I said “Beans, I couldn’t find anything for you, but this one has Hubby’s name on it. Weird”. When I handed the long, skinny box to him, he turned bright pink, and started laughing. Mommy Dearest took a bunch of pictures that I hope to add soon.
Hubby was so excited! When he opened the paper, he tore it open to reveal the Star Wars logo. I was surprised how slowly he opened it, maybe shy to get too excited after his earlier disappointment. When he finally got it open, he was bright pink, laughing and choked up all at once. I totally tricked him!!!
He loved his light saber so much he kept turning lights off in the house and turning it on so everyone could see it. He did that a couple times while I was in the kitchen, and I had to yell “Turn the lights back on! There are things on fire in here!!”
That made it the best Christmas ever. I made my Hubby super happy, but also tricked him!! By the way, his other gifts were socks, underwear, and a snuggi I got for free, so the light saber was definitely the best thing ever. I even got him the right one, and we got a free Princess Leia pen with it! That is win, win, win.