I just don’t know
For some reason, I had a really bad night last night. No bad events occurred, I was just not performing to my usual standard, and bizarre events ensued.
First of all, my dishwasher has been pissing me off. Things are not coming out clean, even though it has plenty of that blue special liquid stuff in there. Also, the top water jet sprayer thing broke off, and I can’t afford to get it fixed. Our old dishwasher didn’t even have one on the ceiling, so I’m not too worried about it, and that happened about 2 months ago.
I decided the dirty dishes were due to the machine itself being dirty. I sprayed down the inside with vinegar, then, since we were out of dish washing detergent, I decided to use anti-bacterial soap. I swear I have done this in the past and it worked, but this time I completely filled both cups on the dispenser. I turned it on and went on my merry way.
Awhile later, Hubby went into the kitchen, and this is the next thing I heard:
Hubby: “OH NO!! OH NO!!” (sounding genuinely alarmed)
Me: “What? What is it?” (mildly alarmed)
Hubby: “What did you do?!”
Me, now fairly alarmed: “What did I do?” (picturing I left the burner on, and set something on fire, or melted plastic all over my stove top, I run into the kitchen)
Hubby: (points to soap bubbles spewing from dishwasher, covering about 1/4 of the kitchen floor, laughing heartily)
Me: “Oh, I thought I set something on fire”
Hubby: “No, you set it on WATER!”
He thought this was endlessly hilarious, and is super-proud of his pun.
The second thing that happened last night was also pretty thoughtless of me, but Hubby should have been on top of the situation as well. I made a big pot of turkey soup last night for dinner, and Hubby wanted some chips to go with it. We didn’t have any chips, so I tore up some tortillas, put them on a baking sheet and put them in the oven. I have done this many times before, including to make crunchy tortilla strips to put on top of soup.
For some reason, both I and Hubby (Mr. I NEED A SNACK) forgot they were in the oven for about 20 minutes. I finally smelled them, and raced into the kitchen screeching, “HOW COULD YOU FORGET ABOUT THE TORTILLAS??” They were golden brown, and probably waaayy too crunchy, but of course, Hubby ate them anyway.
The third thing wasn’t a big deal, but it just put the cherry on top of my retardation sundae. I was moving clothes from the washer to the dryer, and forgot the downy ball was in there. This happens a lot, but usually I catch it when I turn on the dryer and a horrific thumping ensues. This time I heard and acknowledged the thumping, even thinking to myself, “Huh, I wonder what that thumping is? Oh well”, before wandering back to the living room. Ten minutes later the thumping hadn’t stopped on its own, and it finally dawned on me that something must be wrong. I opened the dryer and dug around, then finally, FINALLY thought “Oh, it must be the downy ball!”
My thought processes were running about 10x slower than usual, for no apparent reason. It was at this point I threw up my hands and said no more chores for the evening. I proceeded to sit on the couch, watch Parks and Recreation on Netflix, and eat cake. Thank God I didn’t try anything challenging, like cleaning the oven. Who knows what kind of mayhem could have ensued?